‘Presence’ is our natural state, and true presence is available to us at any moment, because it is a choice.
 

The HeartMath Institute describe presence as:
 

“People with presence have an ineffable quality about them; they are “present,” meaning surprisingly attentive and undistracted. A fullness, a centeredness, a wholeness radiates from them. We enjoy being “in their presence.” Presence can be built and is the natural radiance of heart security.”
From “Chaos to Coherence” by Doc Childre & Bruce Cryer
 

‘Developing presence’ isn’t just something to do occasionally, it is a skill for life.
 

 

How can ‘being present’ help you have a wonderful 2012?

 

Well first, let me ask you: What are your expectations for the coming year – I mean really, what do you expect to happen?
 

Do your expectations match your wishes – do you truly believe you can experience your ideas, your dreams, your intentions, your resolutions? Are you sending out one clear message into your future?
 

Or are you thinking one thing (in your head), but know that deep down, you somehow don’t believe you can really have what you desire? Perhaps you cannot see how you can possible create your ideal situation, or maybe you don’t believe you have the self-discipline you need to break a habit that you have been battling with for years?
 

Today I was reminded of two great quotes, from two great minds:
 

“The future will depend on what we do in the present.”
Mahatma Gandhi
 

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
Robert Louis Stevenson
 

These quotes emphasize two aspects of the Law of Attraction.
 
 

The simple rules to working with the law of attraction

 

The Law of Attraction just is. Like the Law of Gravity, it doesn’t work sometimes and not others.
 

There are 4 key elements to making the Law of Attraction work for you:
 
1. Know what you want so that you can bring it to you.
2. Appreciate the power and wonder of the Law of Attraction.
3. Realise it is you who is creating your reality in every moment.
4. Understand how you will no doubt be getting in your own way!
 

Do you realise that you are manifesting right now? The Law of Attraction is always at work. Whatever you are experiencing right now, you have created, either on a conscious or subconscious level. How do you feel about that?
 

You can be anything, do anything or have anything.
 

The key is to understand how the Law of Attraction works, to abide by its simple but profound rules, and then keep yourself on track, and out of your own way!
 

The Givens:
The Universe is a friendly, creative entity – it is agreeing to your every request.
You are worthy of receiving your heart’s desires.
 

Like attracts like. Every thought vibrates, every thought radiates a signal, and every thought attracts a matching signal back. This is the Law of Attraction.
 

The key to manifesting is to find ways to hold yourself consistently in vibrational harmony with the desires you wish to manifest. Whatever you are giving your attention to is what you are creating. So if you know you are sending out mixed messages to the Universe, or your thoughts are unhelpful and limiting – be careful what you are wishing for!
 

 

The creative process

 

Manifesting experts Esther and Jerry Hicks, suggested that the Law of Attraction follows 3 simple steps:
 

1. You ask
2. The answer is given
3. The answer which is given must be received or allowed (you have to let it in).
 

Step 1 – Ask. This step you do. Think and feel your desire.
Step 2 – Allow. This step is done by the Universe. When you ask it is given every time.
Step 3 – Receive. This step you do. By keeping your faith and worthiness your desires show up.
 

Did you realise that you are already a great manifestor? Oh yes you are! In every moment you are asking, allowing, and receiving.
 
Everything that you are experiencing right now, you have created through your beliefs, your choices, your decisions and your actions. The sum of all these beliefs, choices and decisions manifest at an energetic level to bring you the exact match.
 
By being present, you will ensure that you are completely in touch with all aspects of your self that are contributing to the energy that you are emitting. You can then more easily get to know what you truly want (rather than what you think you want), and bring to your awareness any thoughts or feelings that are not in alignment with this deepest held wish.
 
 

So what are you asking for right now?

 
 

Please subscribe to be sure to receive the next posts in this series!

 
 
This beautiful photograph was taken of a Tibetan monk who was sitting in a park and who was moved to bless the deer that gathered around him. Read more about the photo here.
 

For me, this sums up ‘true presence’. This monk’s presence is creating an incredible level of trust with the animals surrounding him.
 

True presence comes from being completely in the here and now, not being attached to the past or the future, but just allowing ourselves to bring all our focus to this moment. All aspects of our self, in harmony.
 

This is our natural state – true presence is available to us at any moment – we can just choose this.
 

When we are in this state, we are switched on to life. All our senses are taking in what’s real, right now.
 

“People with presence have an ineffable quality about them; they are “present,” meaning surprisingly attentive and undistracted. A fullness, a centeredness, a wholeness radiates from them. We enjoy being “in their presence.” Presence can be built and is the natural radiance of heart security.” (from Chaos to Coherence, Doc Childre & Bruce Cryer).
 
The attentiveness and wholeness that radiates from us when we are present builds trust. Wherever in our lives we engage in a leadership role – and most of us are leaders in some shape or form, even if it’s just leading ourselves – ‘being present’ will enable us to step fully into our highest visionary, focused, inspiring and connected self.
 

So how can we become more present?
 

Here are 3 quick steps to presence!
 

Step 1. Notice. Become aware of when you are not present, when you are ‘up in your head’, agitated, stressed, distracted, confused, feeling emotional, ‘out of sorts’, or unwell, etc.
 

Step 2. Decide. Choose to bring yourself back to your presence. Unless you decide to empower yourself, to develop your emotional mastery, you will always be at the mercy of your Ego – Ego wants to keep you safe – small, but safe. Ego doesn’t want you to be present because then it has no power.
 

Step 3. Breathe. The quickest and easiest way to bring yourself back to your presence is to take 3 deep breaths. This brings you out of your head and into your body, into your whole self. In this space you have access to your deeper, wiser self. By listening to this aspect of your self, rather than your head, you can step more purposefully into your next moment.
 

Here’s an additional step if you find yourself struggling to stay present.
 
Freeze-Frame Exercise (originally developed by The HeartMath Institute)

1. Recognize the stressful feeling and FREEZE-FRAME it. Take a time out.
 

2. Shift focus to the heart area. Pretend to breathe through your heart to focus energy there. Stay there for at least ten seconds.
 

3. Recall a positive, fun feeling or experience, and re-experience it.
 

4. Ask your heart: “What would be a more efficient response to the situation, one that would minimize future stress?”
 

5. Listen to what your heart says in reply.
 
 

2012 promises to be different from previous years. Symbolically, the ending of the Mayan Calendar in 2012 signifies a transformation. Transformation means change, and change can so often be unsettling.
 
To enable yourself to become less stressed as you work through any change, or to help others as they deal with change, practice the art of presence. It really will help!
 
 

In his BNET blog, columnist Steve Tobak asks the question why is it that people, and more specifically leaders don’t change. http://www.bnet.com/blog/ceo/why-people-dont-change/8345?promo=713&tag=nl.e713

 

He concludes that change normally comes as a result of a serious encounter with your own mortality, such as a serious illness or near-death experience.

 

In a recent book review of The Three Levels of Leadership by James Scouller on the People Management online magazine website, Rob MacLachlan suggests that the essential leadership quality of self mastery is a challenging process to engage with because very few people have the self awareness or the self discipline to do so.

 

So why do us humans seem to have to wait for life to give us that wake-up call rather than be able to wake ourselves up?

 

Is there an alternative to ’wake-up’ calls?

 

Do you constantly seek a-ha moments, insights and useful ‘how to’s’ from the growing pile of self-help and management books by your bed, or from the endless teleseminars, podcasts and workshops that you attend - yet you’re still left repeating those same old patterns?

 

How can you recognise and change, once and for all, those limiting beliefs, emotions, choices and behaviours that get in the way of you achieving the success, happiness and financial freedom you seek?

 

And can you do this without an experienced executive or personal coach?

 

As an emotional intelligence and leadership expert, I am constantly striving to make personal change something that we can all engage with and have some success with, without breaking the bank, getting disappointed with our coaches, or enduring years of therapy!

 

Following some 12 years of research and study into personal change, I have discovered that there are 8 key personal qualities that are essential for achieving balance, success and happiness.

 

With this success mindset, you are able to:

• forge ahead with clarity, courage, dynamism and commitment to make your deepest goals a reality
• embrace new ideas and opportunities by making strong decisions whilst worrying less about ‘how’ it will happen
• become a true connector who people are naturally drawn to
• resolve the often conflicting needs within your business life and your personal life
• create balanced, healthy relationships with your team, your prospects, your clients, and all the relationships in your life

 

Work on building these 8 personal leadership qualities alone, and you will start to see amazing changes in the way that you approach your goals, in the way others respond to you, and in your success outcomes.

 

Do you recognise that you are lacking in any of the above areas, know it’s time to take responsibility for the outcomes you are experiencing right now, but are not sure how to go about it?

 

One of the best places to start is to get clear on how you are performing against these 8 key success factors, and identify some quick actions that you can make right now to get into a true success mindset.

 

The iPALite Personal Success Indicator is an amazing value, uncannily accurate, insightful, instantly downloadable personalised profile that measures how well you are currently working with these 8 personal qualities, and how you are helping and hindering your own success.

 

But this tool doesn’t just tell you where you are at.  It also gives you some great tips about how you can immediately start changing any aspects of your mindset that aren’t working for you, and how to stay on track.  Along with a free supporting e-workbook and MP3 audio recording, and access to other seriously useful resources, there is no longer any excuse for waiting for that wake-up call.

 

And if you are currently working with a coach or mentor, take this personalised profile along to your next session and use it as a focus point for discussion and your next goal-setting exercise.

 

Why wait when you can be pro-active, and accelerate your pathway to success right now?  Find out more about the iPALite Personal Success Indicator at http://www.ipalite.com/leadership/

 

I recently joined in with a live Masterclass call with John Assaraf (The Secret) as I am participating in one of his innovative brain retraining programmes. I joined this after hearing him speak at an event in San Diego last autumn.

 

What I particularly like about John is:

 

- his relentless pursuit to understand scientifically and practically what he refers to as our ‘inner game’ (coined originally by Timothy W Gallwey in his ‘Inner Game of …’ series of books), and

 

- his commitment to creating resources and programmes that use the latest available scientific research and understanding around how we function as humans, to help people achieve long-term happiness and success.

 

John is a man after my own heart!

 

He was joined on the call by leading neuroscience researcher Mark Waldman who shared some fascinating scientific insight into how the brain functions and how we can change the way we think and perceive, and therefore create the reality that we experience (our thoughts and feelings drive our choices, decisions and behaviours).

 

One fact particularly resonated with me as it has been something that I had realised some time ago, and was only just discussing this week with a client of mine, and that is:

 

It takes 8 weeks of focused attention for 30-45 minutes per day to start to make real changes in our neuro-circuitry, ie. to make sustainable changes to the way we think and perceive.

So what this tells us is that, like most things, if you want to make long term, positive chages to the way you think, feel and behave, to create new possibilities in your life, it takes practice, and commitment.

 

Whilst we may have a-ha moments that instantly change a perception, we have so many ideas and beliefs about who we are that need to change. Changing our thoughts and feelings is a lifelong endeavour – there is no quick fix I’m sorry to say!

 

But you can speed up the process …

Whilst there are key things that you can do to get yourself known as the ‘Go to’ person, to encourage people to like you, and to invite people to trust you, the Know-Like-Trust Factor is a bit like the X Factor – it’s something rather nebulous.

 

It’s the feeling that people get when they interact with you, whether it’s face-to-face, on the phone, or through your written communication. It feels good, it feels right, and they feel they can know you, like you, and trust you.

 

So how can you engender this feeling in others?

 

It starts with you!

 

Here are some initial questions to ask yourself and some ideas to help you develop your Know-Like-Trust factor.

 

Am I comfortable being known?

Allow yourself to respect what you do, how you go about it, and the results that you deliver.  See yourself as the ‘Go to’ person in your sphere.  Be willing to stick your head above the parapet, knowing that some people will get you, and others won’t.  Be willing to share with them your own story, warts ‘n all!

 

Do I like others, and do I like myself?

Identify whether or not you really do like, and enjoy meeting people …  Become genuinely interested in them, curious about their journeys, and care what happens to them.  Be able to connect with others without any expectations of them, rather than think about what you can get from your relationship with them.  And explore the extent to which you truly like yourself.  Allow yourself to be proud of who you are, and of what you’ve become – like the real you!  Ask yourself if you would be drawn to you if you were somebody else.

 

Do I invite others to trust me?

Share with people what’s important to you, what you stand for.  And stand by these principles when they’re challenged, even if you know it may ruffle some feathers.  Be respectful but honest in your relationships so that you play your part in managing others’ expectations of you.  Manage yourself well so that you can show up and deliver on your commitments, or renegotiate from a win-win perspective if things need to change for you.

 

So what does it really take to boost your Know-Like-Trust factor?

 

In my view, being known, liked and trusted is not something we can get just from reading a book or listening to a couple of teleseminars.  It does require personal work that starts with getting to really know, like and accept ourselves (including the shadow parts!), so that we can share who we really are with the people we meet and connect with.

 

And combining this with a genuine desire to know, like and trust them too, creates a safe, inviting space in which we can co-create amazing connections with the people we engage with.